A Sorceress Was Born

“A person can only rise so high. Now I’m rising above, but there’s a ceiling and I’m about to hit it.” – Dr. Miranda Bailey

And so it goes on and on. It never really stops, does it this family drama? I know I am rambling so I shall pause, take a breath, attempt to calm myself down.. and truly begin this horrific story about the BIG ARSED COUSIN of mine.

After the whole invasion episode, it is fair to say I was behaving slightly (but not alarmingly) standofish with the whale. I mean, you can’t possibly ransack my house, tear apart my privacy leaving only destruction in your wake and expect me to be all smiles and welcomes. But never once did I make it clear I did not want her in my house (alright maybe once when she came up and I didn’t even turn to look at her face. I stayed in the kitchen, dutifully making pancakes and ignoring her). But that apart, we actually were still cordial when we worked out together in the gym (though when I think about it now, I was a little moody but I shall stop trying to implicate myself any further).

So on Friday evening (2 days ago), I received a text message from the abomination that must surely be God’s worst mistake (after the creation of the Devil himself). She said she wanted to borrow some face paint for Halloween that she lent me a couple of years back. I replied saying that since I didn’t use it at all she could have it back. I also said I had passed them to my maid and anytime she’s nearby she can call my maid down.

She replied something cryptic like,” I wouldn’t have minded coming up to get them but no worries, thanks anyway.” I WAS DOING HER  A FAVOUR (in actuality) saving her a trip from coming up to have to collect the face paint. BUT NO, being the bitch she is, she had to act all bitchy.

I left it at that because I wanted to shower. But then I realised, there was still a leeway for her to come to my house (she has a knack for inserting and appearing in places where she’s clearly unwanted) if the product was lying in my house. I got my younger sister who was sending another sister of mine (yes there are 6 kids in my house) for tuition classes and I told her to drop those face paint off. And she did. So when she reached, she called MEGA BITCH WITH FAT ARSE out to collect them but she started rambling on the phone how she is upset because clearly i was behaving rudely and making it obvious that she in unwelcomed in my house (though that is the truth, I never MADE it that obvious, I swear). If you were to go by my messages and the way we were still cordially talking and working out, you would never have jumped to the conclusion she did (I further corroborated this when I told my parents the incident of the FLARING-UP-FOR-NO-REASON and he agreed she was just creaking a ruckus over nothing). She made a big drama about how HER dad would be so upset and how she will no longer come to our house since she is unwelcomed here. My sister tried to calm her down and told her she is over reading into what was a typical message but she wasn’t one to calm down (and according to her, she also wasn’t one to blow things out of proportion. WHAT WAS THIS THEN? If this isn’t what you’d call making a mountain of a molehill, can you imagine the kind of DRAMA she is used to?). My sister simply ended the conversation and she received 2 more texts after that affirming that said cousin wouldn’t come over ever.

Then I came home and was alerted to the drama and I rang her up immediately to clear the air. I did not want my families involved because truth be told, my Dad gets affected when his brother doesn’t speak to him (as is normal) and knowing this sorceress, she is capable of magicking something out of nothing (as seen in the episode), and she is also very capable at manipulating facts and I was afraid she could do some potential damage. So I made light on the phone and I even What’s Apped her but she didn’t reply. On the phone she said she’d call me back. She didn’t till Sunday.

I actually posted a picture of a quote that was about throwing out people who sucked the happiness out of your life and I blocked her on What’s App and my phone but she still managed to send me an SMS after (Gotta check my damn phone’s ability to add contacts to the reject list PROPERLY). She said can she come collect those personal training sheets my trainer had left us (her copy was with me). I didn’t reply and she called but I was on the other line.

So after a while (even though I put the phone down pretty quickly), I called her back and she was all normal. THAT BITCH. Really a meg, fucking two-faced cow. Always creating drama. If she thinks we are ever going to be normal after this well, she’s in for a shock and she can take her 2 FAT faces and go for a bloody hike to hell.

I hate her and she is one person who’s death will mean nothing but an interminable road filled with happiness.

I really wish I could just cut out these toxic bitches from my life and carry on because really I was much better when I used to ignore her (yes her antics started from way back and she was and is the bane of my existence).

Gosh! This sucks. But now, I gotta go back to behaving like a hypocrite who likes her because my pansy family cannot afford to get into a feud.

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10 Things About Me

1. My Love For Cartoons

I love cartoons, even at this age. I grew up watching all sorts of cartoons on all sorts of channel. There was the Eureka! Channel, then Disney channel, cartoon network, our own local channels. But more importantly, there were the cartoon characters that I grew to love. These characters were as much a part of my life as I was theirs. I followed the storylines of so many cartoon shows religiously and steadfastly, growing to love their intricate plots and their invariably one faceted nature. I may not have the time to watch any more cartoons these days but I recognise the importance they have in my life. These characters remain the same (I am speaking for the cartoon shows that still exist) and they haven’t changed one bit. As such, they evoke such a strong sense of nostalgia in me that I sometimes feel overwhelmed. I miss the times when I was so carefree and naive, that my hardest decision-making instances involved having to choose which lollipop to eat first, the red or the blue. Also, watching the re-runs of the cartoons now is incredibly refreshing and enlightening as our minds now perceive the same shows differently. We understand better and maturity changes the way we view things. The same show which made me laugh earlier could actually trigger my thinking and make me reflect deeper. The mind is an amazing tool, really.

Some of my favourite cartoon shows are The Gargoyles, Archie’s Weird Mysteries, Mummies Alive, Scooby Doo & Gang, Little Miss & Men, Popeye’s, Tom & Jerry, Looney Tunes, Phineas & Ferb, Bear in the Big Blue House (not really a cartoon), Arthur & Friends, Power Rangers (not really a cartoon too, but), Little Lulu, The Mask..

2. Books Relax Me

I love books. I love collecting books, pretty much like the Alaska Young protagonist in John Green’s Looking For Alaska. I too have a library of books (My Life Library of unread books) to be read in future where I’d have more time on my hands and can afford to sink into a big comfy armchair, curl my legs underneath me & read nonstop for hours on end, with a cup of tea by my side. I collect books whenever I see them, but even more so when there’s a sale. I have just gone on a mini spring cleaning session to sort out my library. There were too many books and not enough shelves. How my poor heart broke as I fought to choose which books to give away by either selling or as donation to the AWARE association which will be having their annual Book, Bake & Bazaar sale soon to raise money for their foundation. (You can contact AWARE regarding their book donation drive here). Sometimes, when I am feeling extremely stressed or just when the chaos in my head is too loud, I come into my room and simply stand in front of my bookshelf. Just looking at the rows and columns of books gives me peace. It stills my crazy mind, empties it of all thought. I run my fingers over the spines of the books – new & old, read & unread – and I feel so happy. I love books & I will continue to find amazing ones and maybe someday, I’ll even do a review of those I have read on my blog.

3. Swimming Fish is Hypnotising

I love to watch fish swim. Once, we actually decided to rear some fish, thinking that of all pets to have, they would be the easiest to manage. So, my sisters & I went down to a nearby aquarium and purchased a small glass tank. Initially, all we thought we needed were some fishes and a glass tank to hold them in. But the fish-seller told us otherwise. He advised us to get a plant for the tank, so it could photosynthesise and release oxygen into the water, he sold us a light bulb specially made for the plant so that it could manufacture food despite being in the house with no direct access to sunlight, he included the aeration system to ensure well-oxygenated water in the tank and finally some figurines to decorate the tank with. My sisters & I had so much fun finally getting down to choosing the fishes. We chose cheap, colourful ones because the accessories themselves already cost a bomb. When we finally installed everything at home, we were satisfied and I used to come to the living room, sit on the sofa and stare at the fishes swimming. It was really hypnotising, not to mention oddly calming. It was great therapy. That was before the fishes started dying. We had absolutely no clue on how to rear them properly and so, even that project went down the drain. The tank is now used as a storage container in the storeroom. If you’re interested to learn how to set up your own mini aquarium at home, check out this site here & let me know if you’re successful. All the best!

4. I Eat the Crumbs of my Biscuits

As you might have known, I am on a health program where I follow a nutritionist’s advice on what to eat. On my eating plan, my snacks include 100g of fresh fruit and 4 crackers. When I eat these crackers, I make sure to wipe the plate clean by meticulously (and a bit obsessively) eating even the crumbs that fall and get left behind.

5. I Suffer A Little From OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)

I have an unresisting urge for things to be in order & I get enraged when I lose things. I like to be in control, especially when I know I can. I hate getting lost as I feel that it wastes time. Wastage is another thing I hate and where I can control it, I do. My siblings sometimes find me a bit hard to work with because I need everything in order. When they borrow my stapler, I’d go after them like a dog on a bone to make sure they’ve returned it in its original place. When I know something is not right, like a book on my shelf has been placed wrongly, I’d get out of bed to rectify it before being able to sleep. As such, I sometimes suffer from anxiety attacks, but these are manageable and aren’t crippling. I realise that in times of stress, I get more anal about being in control but there are times where I can let go too. I hate to disrupt the order of my things, like when I have a series of books; I fidget nervously when someone takes a book out and disrupt my collection. I like things to be together, especially similar things. Categorising is another one of the perks of being a little OCD. This is why I find it hard to lend people my things – I feel that they’ve caused me to ‘separate’ them from my little world of orderliness.

6. I Need People, But I Also Need Alone Time

I need to know that I have people around me, surrounding me. I need the security that when I wish, there are people whom I can call or go visit to be around. Because I hate feeling lonely. In year 2010, I re-sat for my A Levels as a private candidate. As such, I was home alone most days (excluding the days I went to the tuition centre for private coaching on certain subjects). I usually woke with a start, heart beating so hard it’s like a bird trying hard to escape the cage that is my rib-cage. I don’t have to feel the bed beside me to know it’s empty. At that time, all of my siblings had school and were gone by the time I woke up to study by myself at home. Even my parents were working and would be out of the house by then. These anxiety attacks usually came on because I hated being alone at home, even when I know that in a few hours, the kids will be back home. I hate how cold and empty the house felt without the people in it. It felt soulless, devoid of any warmth and cheeriness. But at the same time, I also get overwhelmed sometimes when I am bogged down by too many responsibilities. I am always given tasks by my siblings to do because they are younger to me and look to me to help them out. And I love to help them. I do, but sometimes it gets too much and I feel like exploding. I am very meticulous and that doesn’t help sometimes because I like things to be done efficiently and in my way and so, I end up piling myself with loads of to-do lists, just to keep on top of what everyone wants me to do. I end up losing sight of what I want to do. Or I do know what I want to do, but I lack the time or energy because by the time I am done with my ‘duties’ I feel so drained and tired. I am a zombie, both mentally & physically. So, while I love being around people, I also love my down time. This is why I walk home every time I can from the train station to my house (which is only ten minutes away) because that is my time alone. I reflect, and think, and ponder. And most importantly, I am alone but not lonely.

7. I Savour Milky, Sugary Things

I love drinking milk and I love eating anything milky like the local Indian delicacies such as barfees (a sweet confectionery from the Indian subcontinent. Plain barfee is made with condensed milk and sugar cooked until it solidifies), and ras malai (consists of sugary white, cream or yellow coloured (or flattened) balls of paneer – curd cheese – soaked in malai (clotted cream) flavoured with cardamom).

Pista_Burfi RasMalai-Plated

It’s no wonder I also love all sorts of ice cream, though my all-time favourites are Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Chocolate Therapy, Turtle Soup, Fish Food, Everything But The, Triple Caramel Chunk, and Haagen Daaz’s Toffee (no longer produced here), Coffee, Cappuccino Truffle, Midnight Cookies & Cream, Magnum and others! I love all sorts of chocolate (milk and white but I also like some dark chocolate). I just love anything with milk.

8. I Love Before & Afters

I enjoy watching shows like ‘Clean House’ because they show how a house looks before & after it was de-cluttered. I love interior designing shows because they before & after images of houses excite me. I took up a make-up course and worked towards a diploma in it despite being extremely science-oriented because not only did I think the colours were interesting & fun to work with but because I enjoyed transforming clients into works of art. For some people, the transformation is incredible. You can hardly believe she was the same person without any makeup. I also enjoy baking so much because typical everyday ingredients like flour, eggs, milk, butter get turned into a beautiful chocolate frosted cupcake or into a moist red velvet cake. It helps that I also enjoy devouring these desserts!

9. I Get Angry Too Fast

I do. I flare up as hot and bright as a firework. But I also go out just as fast. And sometimes, I say things I don’t mean at all. Most of the time when I get angry it’s actually me just manifesting my hurt and sadness because my default emotion to display is anger, not sadness. So when I’m angry, I’m just really hurt and I want all those around me to feel some of that hurt and so I say things. Things I don’t ever mean. I really don’t. I see myself as a kind, empathetic person. I never wish to harm or hurt anyone, not even a strand on his or her head. So, I do hope people actually know what I am not a bad person. I just say or do bad things sometimes, especially so when I am angry.

10. I Drink Water with Lemon Slices in it

Ever since I started my health program where I adhere strictly to a food plan, I also started taking care of the amount of water I drink daily. I have never drunk more than a litre of water daily but now I take care to drink at least 3 litres. After reading about the benefits of lemon, I have started putting it in my bottle of water. I never liked the taste but slowly, over the days, weeks & months, I have grown accustomed to its taste and now I can hardly drink water with no lemon slices in it.

The things I learnt about lemon water are taken from this site and they are:

1. Gives your immune system a boost.
Vitamin C is like our immune system’s jumper cables, and lemon juice is full of it. The level of vitamin C in your system is one of the first things to plummet when you’re stressed, which is why experts recommended popping extra vitamin C during especially stressful days.

2. Excellent source of potassium.
As already mentioned, lemons are high in potassium, which is good for heart health, as well as brain and nerve function.

3. Aids digestion.
Lemon juice not only encourages healthy digestion by loosening toxins in your digestive tract, it
helps to relieve symptoms of indigestion such as heartburn, burping, and bloating.

4. Cleanses your system.
It helps flush out the toxins in your body by enhancing enzyme function, stimulating your liver.

5. Freshens your breath.
It also helps relieve toothaches and gingivitis (say wha?). Because the citric acid can erode tooth enamel, either hold off on brushing your teeth after drinking lemon water or brush your teeth before drinking it.

6. Keeps your skin blemish-free.
The antioxidants in lemon juice help to not only decrease blemishes, but wrinkles too! It can also be applied to scars and age spots to reduce their appearance, and because it’s detoxifying your blood, it will maintain your skin’s radiance.

7. Helps you lose weight.
Lemons contain pectin fiber, which assists in fighting hunger cravings.

8. Reduces inflammation.
If you drink lemon water on a regular basis, it will decrease the acidity in your body, which is where disease states occur. It removes uric acid in your joints, which is one of the main causes of inflammation.

9. Gives you an energy boost.
Lemon juice provides your body with energy when it enters your digestive tract, and it also helps reduce anxiety and depression. (Even the scent of lemons has a calming effect on your nervous system!)

10. Helps to cut out caffeine.
I didn’t believe this until I tried it, but replacing my morning coffee with a cup of hot lemon water has really done wonders! I feel refreshed, and no longer have to deal with that pesky afternoon crash. Plus, my nerves are thankful.

11. Helps fight viral infections.
Warm lemon water is the most effective way to diminish viral infections and their subsequent sore throats. Plus, with the lemon juice also boosting your immune system, you’ll simultaneously fight off the infection completely.

I hope this wasn’t too boring & was at least a little helpful. It’s not exhaustive. There are many facets to me, my personality and my nature & hopefully I can reveal more of myself over time as I blog. I am still learning & discovering myself too so there are some things I cannot yet reveal while others I do not know yet of what to tell you. So stay tuned & hopefully this entertains you for a while as you sit in a 4 by 4 cubicle, looking dazed, counting down till it’s time to go home.