A Sorceress Was Born

“A person can only rise so high. Now I’m rising above, but there’s a ceiling and I’m about to hit it.” – Dr. Miranda Bailey

And so it goes on and on. It never really stops, does it this family drama? I know I am rambling so I shall pause, take a breath, attempt to calm myself down.. and truly begin this horrific story about the BIG ARSED COUSIN of mine.

After the whole invasion episode, it is fair to say I was behaving slightly (but not alarmingly) standofish with the whale. I mean, you can’t possibly ransack my house, tear apart my privacy leaving only destruction in your wake and expect me to be all smiles and welcomes. But never once did I make it clear I did not want her in my house (alright maybe once when she came up and I didn’t even turn to look at her face. I stayed in the kitchen, dutifully making pancakes and ignoring her). But that apart, we actually were still cordial when we worked out together in the gym (though when I think about it now, I was a little moody but I shall stop trying to implicate myself any further).

So on Friday evening (2 days ago), I received a text message from the abomination that must surely be God’s worst mistake (after the creation of the Devil himself). She said she wanted to borrow some face paint for Halloween that she lent me a couple of years back. I replied saying that since I didn’t use it at all she could have it back. I also said I had passed them to my maid and anytime she’s nearby she can call my maid down.

She replied something cryptic like,” I wouldn’t have minded coming up to get them but no worries, thanks anyway.” I WAS DOING HER  A FAVOUR (in actuality) saving her a trip from coming up to have to collect the face paint. BUT NO, being the bitch she is, she had to act all bitchy.

I left it at that because I wanted to shower. But then I realised, there was still a leeway for her to come to my house (she has a knack for inserting and appearing in places where she’s clearly unwanted) if the product was lying in my house. I got my younger sister who was sending another sister of mine (yes there are 6 kids in my house) for tuition classes and I told her to drop those face paint off. And she did. So when she reached, she called MEGA BITCH WITH FAT ARSE out to collect them but she started rambling on the phone how she is upset because clearly i was behaving rudely and making it obvious that she in unwelcomed in my house (though that is the truth, I never MADE it that obvious, I swear). If you were to go by my messages and the way we were still cordially talking and working out, you would never have jumped to the conclusion she did (I further corroborated this when I told my parents the incident of the FLARING-UP-FOR-NO-REASON and he agreed she was just creaking a ruckus over nothing). She made a big drama about how HER dad would be so upset and how she will no longer come to our house since she is unwelcomed here. My sister tried to calm her down and told her she is over reading into what was a typical message but she wasn’t one to calm down (and according to her, she also wasn’t one to blow things out of proportion. WHAT WAS THIS THEN? If this isn’t what you’d call making a mountain of a molehill, can you imagine the kind of DRAMA she is used to?). My sister simply ended the conversation and she received 2 more texts after that affirming that said cousin wouldn’t come over ever.

Then I came home and was alerted to the drama and I rang her up immediately to clear the air. I did not want my families involved because truth be told, my Dad gets affected when his brother doesn’t speak to him (as is normal) and knowing this sorceress, she is capable of magicking something out of nothing (as seen in the episode), and she is also very capable at manipulating facts and I was afraid she could do some potential damage. So I made light on the phone and I even What’s Apped her but she didn’t reply. On the phone she said she’d call me back. She didn’t till Sunday.

I actually posted a picture of a quote that was about throwing out people who sucked the happiness out of your life and I blocked her on What’s App and my phone but she still managed to send me an SMS after (Gotta check my damn phone’s ability to add contacts to the reject list PROPERLY). She said can she come collect those personal training sheets my trainer had left us (her copy was with me). I didn’t reply and she called but I was on the other line.

So after a while (even though I put the phone down pretty quickly), I called her back and she was all normal. THAT BITCH. Really a meg, fucking two-faced cow. Always creating drama. If she thinks we are ever going to be normal after this well, she’s in for a shock and she can take her 2 FAT faces and go for a bloody hike to hell.

I hate her and she is one person who’s death will mean nothing but an interminable road filled with happiness.

I really wish I could just cut out these toxic bitches from my life and carry on because really I was much better when I used to ignore her (yes her antics started from way back and she was and is the bane of my existence).

Gosh! This sucks. But now, I gotta go back to behaving like a hypocrite who likes her because my pansy family cannot afford to get into a feud.



Yesterday was one of the many normal days I have been having. I went for my Personal Training session at the Gym in my condominium with my cousin (whom I hate but tolerate because it’s cheaper to buddy-train and no one else is available to do so).

My training days with E (Trainer) is usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the evenings and Sundays in the mornings. But since she was sick, she had rescheduled it to Friday evening (i.e. yesterday). At first, my huge-assed cousin said she could not make it and so I privately messaged the Trainer (instead of in our What’s App Group) to come earlier and do a solo for me. She agreed to come at 4pm (Note, huge-assed cousin is working and cannot make it any other time other than in the evenings). That was settled. Then suddenly, said cousin who was ‘endowed’ with an alarming-sized posterior sent me a text saying I should have let her in on my plans and made it transparent in the group chat that we were still going to go ahead with training (Again take note, she already told us she COULDN’T make it and I only made plans AFTER she told me she was tied up. Also, all this while when she had been down with a calf injury, this was the way I planned my solo sessions with the trainer – by privately messaging her.) I was angry but I told myself whatever and actually took the pains to reschedule to an evening session (despite it being my birthday and that I MAY have plans – though I most definitely did not. Birthdays are not my thing.). After the session we usually have to do some cardio workout on our own but since I knew some cousins were coming over I had already done my cardio before hand and I left right after training while HAC (huge-assed cousin) apparently stayed back (though just for a while because she came up pretty quickly to my house to shower because she had a dinner to attend to with her sisters, who also came over for a while and my lame-assed Uncle who’s a dimwit – I know, I have an overwhelming, uncontrollable love for my extended family). And that was when trouble began.

In case you haven’t quite picked up on the fact that I hate my cousin, I HATE MY COUSIN. She is a nosy, manipulative bitch and she thrives on gleaning information from one household so she can
(a) use it for herself
(b) use it for her entertainment as she spreads stuff around
(c) maliciously twist the information out of context and then spread it around.

Basically, she is an attention-seeking whore. She came into MY kitchen and helped herself to MY FRUITS and my GREEK YOGHURT. I was using an alternative brand and there was about 70g of it left and I didn’t care if it was FINISHED by the said bitch because usually I do not eat that brand. I only bought it because my usual one was out of stock. But then MY MOTHER DEAREST had to tell her oh don’t worry there’s another kind and she opened the OTHER fridge and took out my usual yoghurt to give her a spoonful so she could hit a 100g (oh she was using my food scale too). ALL OF THESE WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING ME or at least PRETENDING TO ASK ME IF IT WAS OK. Bitch face.

And at that point, she saw my huge collection of greek yoghurt tubs (usual one that I had finally bought after they kept being sold out and so many places) and she went back another time to TAKE A PICTURE pretending to my sister that she had to ‘keep a food log because the trainer said so’. HELLO, if that were true you would have handed in the food log 8 weeks ago, cow.

At that point, I was still unaware of this happening and I sat down to eat my dinner across from her in the table and the bitch so obviously moved the glass bottle that was obscuring her view  of my plate so that she could SEE what I was eating and as usual comment on it.

I was really, deeply insulted and I was simmering inside. I wish she would drop dead because honestly, nobody likes her. Most definitely not me. Her invasion of my home and privacy is not something I tolerate well. I feel like I HAVE to hide in my own house. I have training with her again tomorrow and I had to tell my mother to be on the lookout for a text that I would send before coming up so she could serve my breakfast in my bedroom and under some “I need the toilet” pretense, I’ll lock myself in and eat in peace. I also told my maid/helper to change the location of my tubs from one Fridge to another (the beauty of having 3 fridges) so that when she comes and tries to take one, we are all going to tell her to fuck off. Ok now, my mum is too nice and she is only a party to this because she knows it upsets me to have my LIFE scrutinised. So when she asks (and boy am I willing to bet my life on that), we will say, “Oh we have given those away. Those weren’t for me. I bought them for a friend.” The shit we have to resort to to protect our privacy and semblance of sanity.

But I also analaysed this:
She may know what brand of yoghurt I eat but:
(a) it is incredibly hard to get that particular brand so I will say I got it from blahblahblah
(b) she cannot possibly be me. That’s just one aspect of the variety of foods I consume. Just because she knows one thing doesn’t mean she can deduce the amount, time, frequencies and type of meals I eat. In this race, she is still lagging behind. And I am happy for that. I know I sound like a bitch but you haven’t met her and she’s toxic. I wish I could cut her out but oh boy, that doesn’t happen in our desi families where tolerating gossip and being continuously back-stabbed is preferable to having a peaceful life.

It is my time to shine. So bitch, take a seat and don’t hold your breath.


The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step

Don’t be so shocked. I know, 2 posts in 2 consecutive days? What has happened to F? But here I am, again with ample time on my hands as I sit right in the middle of Prague Airport waiting for Emirates to open their counter so I can check in and get my boarding pass and head towards the gate to wait some more. You know, I really hate transits. They are a waste of time and energy, but more about that next time.

Anyhow, I left Vienna yesterday by bus at approximately 1830 hours. I was a little sad (being honest here) about leaving my two travel mates because I knew I would be seeing them again. One is from Singapore and the other Hong Konger would be visiting Singapore soon. So not much to cry about there. More than feeling sad though, I was nervous. I did not know how I was going to manage lugging around my 2 pieces of luggage from Bratislava Airport (where the final bus station is) to the Hotel which is, yes, only 600m away. But thankfully, I managed. I bought two 35-cent tickets – one for the short, short journey to the Hotel and one for the return to the Airport the next morning. No major incidents occurred except for the time the bus almost closed its doors on me as I disembarked to carry down one of the 2 pieces of luggage I was heaving around with me. I was about to enter the bus (96) again to take my second luggage when I heard the piston releasing air and the inevitable creaking of the door hinges as it overcomes its inertia and begins to close. So the door hit me a little but it’s no apocalypse. I survived. I am stronger now because I wasn’t killed (they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger).

I walked the even shorter distance to Hotel Aviator Garni and was pleasantly surprised as the receptionist came out to help me heave my bags over the short flight of stairs and helped me check in. He even carried my bigger luggage all the way to my room for me. It was located on the second floor of the hotel, which looks more like a  motel. He spoke English reasonably well which is like music to my ears because I have yet to meet anyone who speaks decent English in Slovakia. Turns out, he was brought up in Canada despite being born in Slovakia (no wonder the gentlemanly demeanor, the helpful nature and the well-spoken English!)

I went in, charged my phone, changed into shorts, used the toilet and laid down on my bed only to realise the wifi had a code and I did not know what it was. So I went down again and the same receptionist helped me out. He was really, really kind.

I came back up to my room and was online reading articles, listening to music (thank God for the Saavan App), and watched videos on YouTube. I also messaged some friends and family on WhatsApp. I wanted to use my laptop but for some reason, it could’t connect to the Internet. Then I slept till 0445 hours the next day. I wanted to sleep some more but couldn’t. So I just lazed around, tossed and turned, closed my eyes, played with my phone again, checking for messages and likes on my instagram, etc. Then I fell asleep for a while – a really really short while – when I heard some noise. I was annoyed because it sounded like someone was either clicking something or moving about touching stuff that was causing the pitter-patter noise. Only then did I realise, IT WAS RAINING! My heart sank because I had to walk a short distance to the bus stop which wasn’t sheltered and I was going to be wet. I couldn’t afford to open my umbrella and hold it above my head because both my hands were going to be occupied with handling the luggage. I quickly downed my thyroid medication and chromium supplement and took a quick shower. The rain was light but not light enough. I wanted to ask if the receptionist could call me a taxi. And I also saw an off chance that the rain may start becoming lighter and I wanted to start walking as soon as that happens. I was ready by seven ish and walked down with my bags. Again the receptionist heard me coming down and helped me with my bags. Though on the way down, my cabin sized luggage fell and slid down the stairs which is a good thing because it meant i did not have to lug it down. He gave me my bill (I had already paid yesterday when I checked in) and..  <<WAIT FOR IT>> HE OFFERED TO DRIVE ME TO THE AIRPORT! HOLY RAVIOLI! I was incredibly touched and eternally grateful for his kindness. In case you haven’t guessed, I am a worrywart and his act of kindness totally lifted a burden off my chest! He picked my heavier luggage and I the lighter cabin one and together we walked to his car to keep them and then I got in and he dropped me off. He told me the hotel was still undergoing completion works and will be fully done in a while more. He explained that they would have vans to pick passengers to and from the airport in future. He also told me here that he was raised in Canada and he said he really liked Singapore because he knew it was clean and beautiful though really crowded.

I realised I had no need for my second 35-cent ticket that I had purchased the day before. But what’s 35 cents compared to the free, amazing service I was offered by the receptionist. I should have asked for his name!

If you ever have to transit in Bratislava, I highly recommend the Hotel Aviator Garni. Not only was the receptionist incredibly warm and accommodating, the rooms were also beautiful and clean and the service was impeccable. I am a little disappointed that I only spent several hours in the room because it was one of the best hotels I have seen during my time backpacking in Europe these past 6 weeks (talking about reasonably priced accommodations that aren’t 5 or 7 stars).

So I was in the airport really early. I connected to the free wifi and passed my time stalking people on different social platforms and spamming my family. Then it was finally time to take the flight from Bratislava to Prague. I checked in at the Czech Airlines counter at 0810 hours and it was fast. My bag weighed 24.2kg (whoops!) and the lady let me through without so much as commenting that i was technically 1,2kg over the allowed amount. She also said my bag would be through checked-in all the way till Singapore so I do not have to pick it up in Prague or Dubai! The day seemed to be getting better and better (fingers crossed, don’t want to jinx anything).When I was arriving in Bratislava, I had to pick my luggage up at Prague and re-check in because thy couldn’t do a through check-in for me. But thank my lucky stars (and God) that it was possible this time around because, as I have mentioned countless times, my bag really weighs a ton. The lady at the departure gate checking our boarding passes, however, looked like a mighty bitch. She didn’t smile and was checking out her nails while we waited for her to see our passes and allowed us entry. I hated her attitude. I managed to clear customs check and went in with no further incidents. Sat and waited again till it was time to board the plane. And now, here I am. Waiting in the Airport for Emirates.

I have only completed stage 1 of my 3 stages of journey back home to Singapore. I dread the upcoming transits and waiting but on the bright side, this is the longest transit I have. The next one in Dubai, I get to shop! I need to get my 11-year old sister her Chanel Nail Varnishes. I know it is ridiculous that such a young girl is already so luxuriously choosing branded nail polishes to ‘play’ with but I think it is perfectly fine because:
(a) she is really passionate about her nail designing
(b) it is a perfectly healthy hobby
(c) she is incredibly talented
(d) those cheap nail polishes cannot last long, making you buy more over a shorter span of time so in actuality, you’re wasting more money than you’re saving
(e) these nail polishes would mostly be used on us, her sisters, so really she is doing us a favour.

My route for this journey back home goes like this:
Bratislava-Prague (5-hour transit)-Dubai (3-hour transit)-Singapore.

Alright then. I shall stop typing here because I want to check in and also because my back is hurting from sitting in such an awkward position.
Till next time,