A Sorceress Was Born

“A person can only rise so high. Now I’m rising above, but there’s a ceiling and I’m about to hit it.” – Dr. Miranda Bailey

And so it goes on and on. It never really stops, does it this family drama? I know I am rambling so I shall pause, take a breath, attempt to calm myself down.. and truly begin this horrific story about the BIG ARSED COUSIN of mine.

After the whole invasion episode, it is fair to say I was behaving slightly (but not alarmingly) standofish with the whale. I mean, you can’t possibly ransack my house, tear apart my privacy leaving only destruction in your wake and expect me to be all smiles and welcomes. But never once did I make it clear I did not want her in my house (alright maybe once when she came up and I didn’t even turn to look at her face. I stayed in the kitchen, dutifully making pancakes and ignoring her). But that apart, we actually were still cordial when we worked out together in the gym (though when I think about it now, I was a little moody but I shall stop trying to implicate myself any further).

So on Friday evening (2 days ago), I received a text message from the abomination that must surely be God’s worst mistake (after the creation of the Devil himself). She said she wanted to borrow some face paint for Halloween that she lent me a couple of years back. I replied saying that since I didn’t use it at all she could have it back. I also said I had passed them to my maid and anytime she’s nearby she can call my maid down.

She replied something cryptic like,” I wouldn’t have minded coming up to get them but no worries, thanks anyway.” I WAS DOING HER  A FAVOUR (in actuality) saving her a trip from coming up to have to collect the face paint. BUT NO, being the bitch she is, she had to act all bitchy.

I left it at that because I wanted to shower. But then I realised, there was still a leeway for her to come to my house (she has a knack for inserting and appearing in places where she’s clearly unwanted) if the product was lying in my house. I got my younger sister who was sending another sister of mine (yes there are 6 kids in my house) for tuition classes and I told her to drop those face paint off. And she did. So when she reached, she called MEGA BITCH WITH FAT ARSE out to collect them but she started rambling on the phone how she is upset because clearly i was behaving rudely and making it obvious that she in unwelcomed in my house (though that is the truth, I never MADE it that obvious, I swear). If you were to go by my messages and the way we were still cordially talking and working out, you would never have jumped to the conclusion she did (I further corroborated this when I told my parents the incident of the FLARING-UP-FOR-NO-REASON and he agreed she was just creaking a ruckus over nothing). She made a big drama about how HER dad would be so upset and how she will no longer come to our house since she is unwelcomed here. My sister tried to calm her down and told her she is over reading into what was a typical message but she wasn’t one to calm down (and according to her, she also wasn’t one to blow things out of proportion. WHAT WAS THIS THEN? If this isn’t what you’d call making a mountain of a molehill, can you imagine the kind of DRAMA she is used to?). My sister simply ended the conversation and she received 2 more texts after that affirming that said cousin wouldn’t come over ever.

Then I came home and was alerted to the drama and I rang her up immediately to clear the air. I did not want my families involved because truth be told, my Dad gets affected when his brother doesn’t speak to him (as is normal) and knowing this sorceress, she is capable of magicking something out of nothing (as seen in the episode), and she is also very capable at manipulating facts and I was afraid she could do some potential damage. So I made light on the phone and I even What’s Apped her but she didn’t reply. On the phone she said she’d call me back. She didn’t till Sunday.

I actually posted a picture of a quote that was about throwing out people who sucked the happiness out of your life and I blocked her on What’s App and my phone but she still managed to send me an SMS after (Gotta check my damn phone’s ability to add contacts to the reject list PROPERLY). She said can she come collect those personal training sheets my trainer had left us (her copy was with me). I didn’t reply and she called but I was on the other line.

So after a while (even though I put the phone down pretty quickly), I called her back and she was all normal. THAT BITCH. Really a meg, fucking two-faced cow. Always creating drama. If she thinks we are ever going to be normal after this well, she’s in for a shock and she can take her 2 FAT faces and go for a bloody hike to hell.

I hate her and she is one person who’s death will mean nothing but an interminable road filled with happiness.

I really wish I could just cut out these toxic bitches from my life and carry on because really I was much better when I used to ignore her (yes her antics started from way back and she was and is the bane of my existence).

Gosh! This sucks. But now, I gotta go back to behaving like a hypocrite who likes her because my pansy family cannot afford to get into a feud.

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Invasion

Yesterday was one of the many normal days I have been having. I went for my Personal Training session at the Gym in my condominium with my cousin (whom I hate but tolerate because it’s cheaper to buddy-train and no one else is available to do so).

My training days with E (Trainer) is usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the evenings and Sundays in the mornings. But since she was sick, she had rescheduled it to Friday evening (i.e. yesterday). At first, my huge-assed cousin said she could not make it and so I privately messaged the Trainer (instead of in our What’s App Group) to come earlier and do a solo for me. She agreed to come at 4pm (Note, huge-assed cousin is working and cannot make it any other time other than in the evenings). That was settled. Then suddenly, said cousin who was ‘endowed’ with an alarming-sized posterior sent me a text saying I should have let her in on my plans and made it transparent in the group chat that we were still going to go ahead with training (Again take note, she already told us she COULDN’T make it and I only made plans AFTER she told me she was tied up. Also, all this while when she had been down with a calf injury, this was the way I planned my solo sessions with the trainer – by privately messaging her.) I was angry but I told myself whatever and actually took the pains to reschedule to an evening session (despite it being my birthday and that I MAY have plans – though I most definitely did not. Birthdays are not my thing.). After the session we usually have to do some cardio workout on our own but since I knew some cousins were coming over I had already done my cardio before hand and I left right after training while HAC (huge-assed cousin) apparently stayed back (though just for a while because she came up pretty quickly to my house to shower because she had a dinner to attend to with her sisters, who also came over for a while and my lame-assed Uncle who’s a dimwit – I know, I have an overwhelming, uncontrollable love for my extended family). And that was when trouble began.

In case you haven’t quite picked up on the fact that I hate my cousin, I HATE MY COUSIN. She is a nosy, manipulative bitch and she thrives on gleaning information from one household so she can
(a) use it for herself
(b) use it for her entertainment as she spreads stuff around
(c) maliciously twist the information out of context and then spread it around.

Basically, she is an attention-seeking whore. She came into MY kitchen and helped herself to MY FRUITS and my GREEK YOGHURT. I was using an alternative brand and there was about 70g of it left and I didn’t care if it was FINISHED by the said bitch because usually I do not eat that brand. I only bought it because my usual one was out of stock. But then MY MOTHER DEAREST had to tell her oh don’t worry there’s another kind and she opened the OTHER fridge and took out my usual yoghurt to give her a spoonful so she could hit a 100g (oh she was using my food scale too). ALL OF THESE WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING ME or at least PRETENDING TO ASK ME IF IT WAS OK. Bitch face.

And at that point, she saw my huge collection of greek yoghurt tubs (usual one that I had finally bought after they kept being sold out and so many places) and she went back another time to TAKE A PICTURE pretending to my sister that she had to ‘keep a food log because the trainer said so’. HELLO, if that were true you would have handed in the food log 8 weeks ago, cow.

At that point, I was still unaware of this happening and I sat down to eat my dinner across from her in the table and the bitch so obviously moved the glass bottle that was obscuring her view  of my plate so that she could SEE what I was eating and as usual comment on it.

I was really, deeply insulted and I was simmering inside. I wish she would drop dead because honestly, nobody likes her. Most definitely not me. Her invasion of my home and privacy is not something I tolerate well. I feel like I HAVE to hide in my own house. I have training with her again tomorrow and I had to tell my mother to be on the lookout for a text that I would send before coming up so she could serve my breakfast in my bedroom and under some “I need the toilet” pretense, I’ll lock myself in and eat in peace. I also told my maid/helper to change the location of my tubs from one Fridge to another (the beauty of having 3 fridges) so that when she comes and tries to take one, we are all going to tell her to fuck off. Ok now, my mum is too nice and she is only a party to this because she knows it upsets me to have my LIFE scrutinised. So when she asks (and boy am I willing to bet my life on that), we will say, “Oh we have given those away. Those weren’t for me. I bought them for a friend.” The shit we have to resort to to protect our privacy and semblance of sanity.

But I also analaysed this:
She may know what brand of yoghurt I eat but:
(a) it is incredibly hard to get that particular brand so I will say I got it from blahblahblah
(b) she cannot possibly be me. That’s just one aspect of the variety of foods I consume. Just because she knows one thing doesn’t mean she can deduce the amount, time, frequencies and type of meals I eat. In this race, she is still lagging behind. And I am happy for that. I know I sound like a bitch but you haven’t met her and she’s toxic. I wish I could cut her out but oh boy, that doesn’t happen in our desi families where tolerating gossip and being continuously back-stabbed is preferable to having a peaceful life.

It is my time to shine. So bitch, take a seat and don’t hold your breath.

F.

An Idle Mind is a Devil’s Workshop

It’s funny how quickly time seems to fly at times and at others, it painfully crawls by. It’s all a matter of perception I guess. I have been away from home for the longest period ever while on this trip to Europe. I am currently on my second last day here and will depart tomorrow morning at 0955 hours from Bratislava to  Prague. And my flights go on and on and on.. No, I’m not kidding. I’ll be boarding three flights to get home to Sunny Singapore tomorrow: Bratislava – Prague – Dubai – Singapore. It will take me  ~24 hours to get home!

I never knew that these 6 weeks would pass as fast as they did but then these last few days seem to go by incredibly slow. It seems all I have been doing is looking at my planner and watch how the days inch by, how the seconds seem to still and time freezes. I just want to be with my family, which is another funny story because I was moody all the time just before leaving for Educate Slovakia, my project which I signed up for on AIESEC where I get to board for free in a student’s dormitory while providing English lessons on my country and culture to Slovak students in elementary and high schools. Can’t say I really enjoyed my time doing that. All I know is that this trip has been eye-opening for one and only one reason: TEACHING IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT MY CUP OF TEA. Or coffee for that matter. I couldn’t wait to get out of all the schools, no matter how nice the staff and students were. Time again betrayed me by going by at a snail’s pace. No, scratch that, even a snail was moving faster. It was torture to have to teach the same contents over and over again to groups of students who couldn’t care less. I died trying to muster up the same high level of enthusiasm and creativity when teaching a new batch of class the same thing I have been teaching the previous 82283249231 batches! It was torture. It was plain torture and my brain cells actually degenerated when I had to slow my pace down and talk as though I was speaking to a bunch of 2-year olds. That just makes me wonder how mothers do it. How are they around their child 24 hours a day and not suffer from the gooey brain sludge oozing out of their ears after it starts degrading? Oh well, they say a mother’s love is unparalleled. I’ll just take it as that.

Currently, I’m sitting in the “lounge” area of Hotel Ibis (Budget) in St Marx, Vienna, passing time as I wait for my bus to depart from the bus station (which is nearby considering but will feel as though it is 3278462349432 miles away as I start lugging my luggage with me because it weighs a ton and oh, I have 2 to lug). My bus will bring me to Bratislava Airport where I’ll be sleeping overnight at a nearby hotel (again I will succumb to my laziness and take a city bus from the Airport to the hotel which is only 600m away because nobody, and I mean nobody, in their right minds would want to carry along a bag that weighs 252430248 kg). So in actuality, I am not being lazy. I am being practical. I do not want to reach home with arms that no longer function properly just because I insisted on WALKING 600m. So there you go.

I have been thinking these past few days just how funny humans actually are. I have been eagerly counting down my days till I get to leave the bloody EU (because it is just gross and dirty and functions as efficiently as a fish trying to breathe on land) to see my family. I miss them the most. But I realised that the past few weeks before leaving for the EU and the project, I have been moody and unreasonable and have even lost my temper countless times. I was impatient with them and didn’t stop to think how much they actually mean to me and that all those times I got mad was unnecessary and trivial. I should have taken a deep breath and just let it go! But this trip has served me well in the sense that I now know a few things about myself:

1. I was unappreciative of my family and the sacrifices they made to accommodate me and my crazy OCD habits. I will not be so petty any longer.
2. While it was hard to leave them and be away for so long, I now know that I can and my time in Australia will be significantly better as this was a preview of my time away. It is going to be for a much longer time but I know that I will be able to cope if I know that at the end of a certain time period, I will be able to meet them.
3. I learnt many new things about the EU, how many different countries use the same currency, how you can cross borders without a passport, the ease with which you can source for and book hotels/hostels and how to effectively plan trips.
4. I made a couple of new friends and I am incredibly proud of myself for not pushing people away (as I tend to do after a while) and that I persevered in maintaining a good relationship with everyone (even though secretly, I wished to murder a few in their sleep). These are the people I believe who will help in the passage of time and make it fly!
5. I really need my alone time and this trip has afforded me NONE. My alone time actually means doing nothing with family in the background. I seem to be always highly strung and too proper when I am around people I consider outsiders, i.e. friends and anyone who are not family per se.
6. While I enjoy cooking & baking at home, I cannot seem to muster enough energy to cook a decent meal here while away from home. I need the convenience of a well-stocked kitchen and I want my mother’s cooking because I realise how healthy and incredible it is.
7. The weather in Europe is incredibly unpredictable. It should be in a class of its own.
8. I CAN’T BLOODY WAIT TO GO BACK TO SINGAPORE BECAUSE IT IS SO CONVENIENT AND I AM A SPOILT BRAT.

I will detail my travelling events in a new post or else this post will turn into a 1000-page novel. And I shall end here for now. I just decided to post because:

(a) I had ample free time on my hands
(b) There is free wi-fi
(c) An idle mind is a devil’s workshop & I can’t have that happening during the first day of the fasting month! As it is, I am not even fasting..

Till next time, adios amigos!

x o x o
F